Roman Polanski and jay Sebring

Discussion in 'Jay Sebring' started by Thewheel, Sep 3, 2012.

  1. Thewheel Active Member

    Roman Polanski and Jay Sebring


    In my opinion its not often if ever roman Polanski praises jay , he seems to make jay out to be this sad lonely man, he uses phrases like. he looked on me and Sharon as his only family, and was a very lonely person. I also get the impression that he makes jay out to be this guy always hanging around , who could not get over losing Sharon. I think the opposite is true jay was a man about town, incredibly good looking with great connections, best mates with mcqueen and other celebs , into motor racing ,thriving hairdressing business, and many girl friends, has for hanging around cielo drive i believe Sharon wanted him there because she trusted him, jay must gave up a lot of his time for Sharon , he also paid the ultimate price for that time.

    Regards tw
    TooLate likes this.
  2. martine Well-Known Member

    I don't believe that Jay's life was a sad one at all. He was young, good-looking, successful, ran with a great crowd, had enough money to afford himself a nice lifestyle....

    Yes, he probably did consider Sharon to be his family. At one time they were engaged to be married and he bowed out when Roman came along, and by all accounts, the two men actually liked each other. It seems as though he remained close to the Tates a well after he and Sharon ended their relationship.

    Vince has gone on record saying that in Hollywood, which is a vicious town, no one had anything bad to say about Sharon or Jay for that matter. So what...he dabbled in drugs...who didn't back then? He liked the kinky stuff...who really cares, especially in this era of "Fifty Shades of Grey"...

    I think Jay did a lot of living in his short life and I think that he was a very happy man. Perhaps he didn't have the love of his life the way he wanted her, but the two of them shared a specal kind of love right until the end.
    Leigh, freebird and mother62 like this.
  3. mother62 Well-Known Member

    his nephew esp speaks of him as if he was the greatest role model for a young boy, and im sure he was. Anthony also speaks of family gatherings and how wonderful they were and that last picture of them together. sounds like even though he lived in california that his relationshio eith his family of origin was a strong and vital as always amd important to all no matter what. Geographically speaking there was distance but no distance of the heart.
  4. TooLate Active Member

    Puny Polly was probably jealous of Jay, so the covert criticism was his way of dealing with his continued presence as the man in waiting for the inevitable divorce of Tate from Polly. Pop psychology thought for the day.
  5. CanuckCeeDee Well-Known Member

    As ever, interesting thread.

    While I think there might have been a little alpha-male sniping in the way Roman talked about Jay, there might be another way of looking at this: Jay was there when Sharon died, and Roman wasn't.

    It's possible, and I would even venture probable, that Roman felt a tremendous amout of guilt around not being present when Sharon was murdered -- he might have been able to save her, etc., the inevitable burden of survivor guilt. But Jay was there, and there was some indication that he did try to protect Sharon.

    Roman just might have turned that guilt into "poor sad little Jay, we were his only family" to make himself feel better about Jay being there -- whatever Jay's actual motivations might have been -- while he was half a world away making a movie.
    Leigh and martine like this.
  6. Couyon Active Member

    Roman not only learned his wife was murdered, but also that Jay was in her bedroom
    late at night. This would play on anyones thought process, not only having to answer questions about why
    this happened to his wife but also why Jay was in the bedroom. Those would be some hard questions to
    answer much less think about after a tragedy.
  7. Thewheel Active Member

    heard it say that kirk Douglas thought that the sharons baby may have been jays, who knows

    Regards tw
  8. mother62 Well-Known Member

    in my best Col Klink voice "Verrrry interesting!"
  9. Peaches Donating Members

    I've heard the story about Kirk Douglas thinking the baby might've been Jay's too.

    CanuckDeeDee, interesting points that you made!

    I do agree with Martine, I don't think Jay was this lonely guy. He had friends, an active social life.
  10. martine Well-Known Member

    By all accounts, Jay was never at a loss for female companionship prior to his death. Once things ended with Sharon and he realized that she had moved on and there was no hope of rekindling their romance, he moved on.

    Whether Sharon would have divorced Roman or not had she not been murdered is pure speculation. We don't know the intimate details of their marriage. Sharon seemed to be the kind who would love unconditionally. She was carrying Roman's child and was excited and anxious for his return to the U.S. at the time of her death. She knew of his lifestyle and of his dalliances...he admitted to sleeping with someone just days after her murder for goodness sake, but it seems as though she was accepting of his ahem, shortcomings.

    She may have grown tired of his wandering eye, she may not have. She may have evolved into a more confident woman and left him. It's a moot point because the outcome will never be known.

    I honestly believe that Jay had become Sharon's closest friend and confidante at the time of their deaths. I have remained friendly with my first love and even after 28 years of being apart we still remain in regular touch despite being happily married to other people.

    I doubt that Jay was still harboring any hope or serious feelings for Sharon or that he was waiting around for her to tire of Roman.
  11. Peaches Donating Members

    Amen, Martine. He wasn't sitting by the phone every night hoping to get a call from her. We will never know what MIGHT have happened. Maybe Sharon would've divorced Roman, maybe not. Maybe she and Jay would've gotten back together, maybe not. It's jsut speculation on our part. I do think she was reaching a new level of maturity with the pregnancy. It would've been interesting to see what would've happened.
  12. catscradle77 Administrator

    It is sad, that all these things were said about Jay after he died and could not defend himself against them. Not one word of bad when the man was alive that I can find.

    Also, as far as his "kinky" side- I dont think anyone complained ;)
    MissToni likes this.
  13. Peaches Donating Members

  14. martine Well-Known Member

    You are so right, both ladies.

    Jay was a guy who enjoyed a good life, albeit a short one, filled with beautiful women, fast cars and as opulent a lifestyle as he could afford. No one had a bad thing to say about him while he was alive, nor after he was dead. The conclusions that some individuals have drawn post-murder are horrible. So many insinuations and whispers about his apparent cloak and dagger lifestyle....

    Yes, he had a kinky side, but no one complained, as Cats said. Again, after his death, there were not tell-all interviews..."I was Tied up in Black Velvelt Ribbons by Jay Sebring...blah blahb ", no pictures ever surfaced... Perhaps Jay Sebring was the Christian Grey of the 1960s.;)
  15. Peaches Donating Members

    I read a magazine article from right after the murders where a woman describes a night with Jay. I'm not saying that I believe it (after all, he wasn't around to comment on it), but it sounded like one heck of a night.;)
  16. CanuckCeeDee Well-Known Member

    It all points, IMHO, to how easy it is to say nasty things about dead people. It's not like they can call you up and tell you you're full of shit and here's why.

    It's almost as if people have to find a reason, usually related to a victim's character (or, more likely, complete lack thereof), why that individual died a hideous death. It's a not-quite-benign "blame the victim" thing; if they weren't a drug dealer/sexual pervert/alcoholic/prostitute/gambler/(insert favourite vice here) then this terrible thing would not have happened to them -- almost as if, simply by living their lives as they chose, victims ask for stuff to happen to them, and ultimately deserve whatever they get.

    Creepy and wrong, but human nature, I suppose.
    martine likes this.
  17. Cooltide Well-Known Member

    Not to split hairs CCD , but, the vices you list above would tend to increase your chances of , if not being killed, getting you in some dangerous situations, dont you think.
    coonhound likes this.
  18. martine Well-Known Member

    I definitely agree with you on this Cooltide, but I think what we are trying to point out is that whenever there is a violent crime such as the one at Cielo, the general public is very quick to judge that the victims and their lifestyles are what brought on their violent deaths.

    Although, in today's society with the amount of drug trafficking going on, it's inevitable that if you play with some serious big fires, you will get charred. What bothered me about Tate/Labianca is that right away, the victims were villified and assumptions were made as to why they were chosen.

    My parents told me that when the murders happened, the general feeling was that there was some sort of connection to drugs, sex, and black magic mostly do to misinformation printed in very reputable magazines such as Life and Time. Then there was the whole connection to Roman and the types of movies he made at the time -- Rosemary's Baby had been a huge box office hit just the year previous to Sharon's murder, so it was inevitable that even the least judgmental and least ignorant person would possibly jump to the same conclusion.
  19. CanuckCeeDee Well-Known Member

    I agree with you, Cooltide.

    There just seemed, with TLB, to be this rush to judgment about how the victims weren't "normal" (as in "exactly like me and everyone I know"), so they somehow deserved what they got.
  20. MissToni Well-Known Member


    Giggle :)

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